VAN LEUVEN OPENS UP ON HEARTBREAKING MENTAL HEALTH FIGHT

NOA-LYNN VAN LEUVEN has opened up about her mental health battle after admitting she is finally confronting the “old wounds” she once buried.

‘The Duchess’ has endured a brutal 12 months of online hate, public scrutiny and emotional turmoil after becoming the first trans woman to compete at the World Championship last December.

Dutch thrower Van Leuven shared a raw and emotional post on Instagram alongside a striking photo of her face, with the words “Look up man. He & Him” written across her cheek.

Van Leuven revealed she began therapy a couple of years ago but only recently started facing her deeper trauma.

She wrote on social media: “They say healing means facing the things you’ve been running from. And oh, I’ve been running from quite a few.

“A year or two ago I started talking to a therapist. Back then, we mostly talked about what was happening in the moment, not about the past, not about the memories I had buried so deep. Or even the things that had happened in darts over the past few years.

“As I’ve mentioned before, last year was a lot. At the end of the year darts became overwhelming, but it also kept me going. I pushed myself to the edge while trying to find relief, trying to find an escape from my feelings.”

The 29-year-old admits her breaking point came after Q-School, when an early exit made everything she had been working towards fall apart.

She added: “After Q-school, I hit a very thick wall. Everything I’d been working towards suddenly fell apart.

“By then my trust and beliefs about people were gone. I felt alone, like I had to fight the world by myself, convinced that everyone had bad intentions until proven otherwise.”

Van Leuven has faced relentless abuse since breaking barriers in the sport but now says she’s finally ready to heal.

She continued: “A few months later, I started with new therapists and a different kind of therapy, one that made me realize I had to finally face those old, buried memories.

“Some days it felt like I was living in the past again, with old wounds reopening and pain resurfacing.

“But maybe that’s what healing really is, finally feeling what you once had to ignore.

“That’s where my path to healing began, where there was nothing left to hide behind anymore. 💫”

Van Leuven won the Women’s Series events 9-10 and secured her spot at Ally Pally for a second consecutive campaign by finishing fourth in the Order of Merit.

Image by Taylor Lanning.