VAN LEUVEN RETURNS TO ALLY PALLY AFTER DARK SPELL

NOA-LYNN VAN LEUVEN is back at the World Darts Championship after months in which simply getting out of bed felt impossible. 

The Dutch thrower returns to Ally Pally for a second appearance following a brutal mental health battle that forced her away from darts, work and everyday life. 

Last year, Van Leuven made history as the first Dutch transgender woman to play at the Worlds. 

But once the tournament ended, the emotional toll of abuse, controversy and exhaustion hit hard for the 29-year-old. 

Now, after intensive professional support and a slow rebuild of confidence, Van Leuven is back at the oche hoping not only to compete, but to inspire others facing similar struggles. 

She said: “I basically only got out of bed when I was hungry. 

“Then I’d grab a bag of chips, lie back down, and Netflix all day. 

“But as long as you just keep going and don’t think too much, you get by.  

“Last year I had so many darts tournaments that I didn’t have time to dwell on how I was really doing.  

“First this tournament, then that Worlds. But when all that is over, the crash comes. 

“It felt like I ran into a massive concrete wall. 

“Helping others matters more to me than thinking about myself. 

“If there’s even one person who thinks: I’m not crazy, I’m allowed to be myself, then all the misery is worth it.” 

Much of the damage came from the backlash surrounding her place in women’s darts.  

Van Leuven described the period when Anca Zijlstra and Aileen de Graaf left the Dutch team as “incredibly painful”, after they said they did not want to play alongside “a biological man”. 

The WDF’s later ban on trans women reopened old wounds. 

Van Leuven added: “I haven’t experienced reactions as intense as back then. 

“Everything I’d been through before suddenly resurfaced. 

“At a certain point I was convinced that all people were scary and s****y. 

“I just had nothing left to fall back on.” 

Her recovery began with intensive professional support, including 14 weeks of at-home treatment from an IBT team who visited her several times a week. 

She admitted: “They literally showed up at my door three times a week. 

“They helped me with small things: what can I do today? Shall we go for a walk? Sometimes they just took me outside. Then I had to get out of bed. 

“It didn’t go up in a straight line. But there were more and more moments when it felt a little better.” 

‘The Duchess’ rebuilt her social life, returned to work as a sous-chef and rediscovered her love of cooking. 

She now takes on Peter Wright in a blockbuster round one clash at the World Championships. 

Van Leuven continued: “I really love patisserie. Making panna cotta, creating desserts, I think that’s super cool. 

“Darts is my thing. That feeling when everything clicks, you don’t lose that. 

“I’m not necessarily happy yet, but I’m happier than before. 

“And I notice that many people think it’s brave that I don’t shy away from anything. 

“I’m here for a reason: because I can play darts. That I’m one of the fifteen Dutch players at this Worlds is bizarre, but I’m also here to win.”

Van Leuven also has a message for the media and darts fans. Too often, she sees headlines where her name is missing and she is described only as a ‘trans woman’ or ‘trans darts player’. 

She said: “Then I think: well, great. So that’s apparently who I am. My entire identity captured in one word. 

“Talking about it is fine. But I’m a human being with feelings, not an object. I’m just Noa. And I’m someone who can play darts well.”

Image by Taylor Lanning.