LEWIS: “MY MINDSET THAT WAS MY BIG BUGBEAR”

By Aaron Nijjar

ADRIAN LEWIS has opened up on his struggles that led to him to take time away from the oche.  

The two-time World championship winner, once considered the most naturally gifted player in the game, has been absent from competitive action since early 2023. 

‘Jackpot’ will make his comeback in May at the Modus Super Series, marking his first televised appearance in over two years. 

He admits falling out of love with the game was a major factor in his break, with personal circumstances making it increasingly difficult to commit to the relentless demands of the PDC Tour. 

Lewis told the Guardian: “I was leaving the house, not enjoying it. Even when I was winning I wasn’t enjoying it. I was basically just going through the motions. Like a ghost. Winning, losing, I wasn’t fussed. 

“It had been building, probably, for 18 months. I’m sitting there at the Pro Tours thinking I don’t want to be there. Before I’ve even thrown my first dart. Something’s got to change here.

“I was missing something. My ability had never been in question. But my mindset, that was my big bugbear. I found it hard to get myself up for games, even if was against Michael [van Gerwen] or Phil [Taylor].  

“I dunno It’s weird. You just go into your shell. You don’t feel like your normal self. I can be more of a glass-half-empty guy, a bit frustrated at times. And then sometimes you go out there and you’re trying too hard. It’s weird.” 

The four-time Major winner has spoken about the mental side of the sport, recalling words from his mentor Phil Taylor.  

He said: “I remember once in the early days I was in the players’ room with Phil, looking round, and Phil says: ‘You know, some of the people in here are the mentally strongest people you’ll ever meet in your life.’

“And I thought, you what? I thought he was joking. But as time goes by I started to realise he was right. Any little doubt that creeps into your mind, and that dart will not go where you want it to go. It hardens you.” 

Despite stepping away, Lewis insists he never officially retired and always planned to return when the time felt right. 

His break was heavily influenced by personal factors, including his wife being diagnosed with MSK, an incurable kidney disease and the needs of his daughter, who requires constant care.  

He said: “It’s basically spongy kidney. So even if she has operations, the stones start coming back. Lots of appointments to see how they’re progressing. Sometimes she’ll be in hospital for two weeks at a time. They reckon by the time she’s 40, she’ll be on dialysis. We just crack on with it. That’s all we can do.” 

During his time away from the sport the Stoke-on Trent thrower has also been watching the rise of Luke Littler but believes Luke Humphries is the true No.1 in the sport. 

He revealed: “Yeah, for a young lad he’s [Littler] got a great head on his shoulders, I just hope the media can give him a bit of a break. But I honestly think Luke Humphries, the real No 1, is a great flag bearer for the sport. Just the way he comes across and conducts himself.”  

If things go well at the Modus Super Series, Lewis will consider entering Q-School in 2026 to try and reclaim his PDC Tour Card. 

He added: “There’s no good me going straight back into it and then after six months thinking, ‘nah, that’s me done’ and retiring. I want to do it properly. I want to enjoy the winning feeling again.” 

Image by Taylor Lanning.